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Episode 1

1 We can tell by the hangings on the walls that this room belongs to a hippy - a hippy with taste, but the odd hint of roundel betrays Gallifreyan origins. As the camera pans round, we see a Tardis console. This is the Tardis that Romana built when she decided to stay behind in E-space [scanner showing space with a hint of green?]. An elegant chaise longue comes gradually into view, starting at the end with Romana's feet and working round. She is posed decadently with an elaborate cocktail (pink and giving off lots of vapour) and she is talking to K9, who is nearby. Romana (taking a sip): You know, K9, you're surprisingly good at mixing cocktails - for a dog. K9: Thanks are not necessary, Mistress. Romana (dreamily): Argolian Jacynthus - probably the best drink in any of the universes - how much have we left? K9: That was the beginning of the last bottle, Mistress. The Doctor brought it from Argolis in N-space. Unfortunately, it cannot be obtained here in E-Space. Romana: I brought it, K9. It's mine - the only bottle of Argolian Jacynthus this side of the Charged Vacuum Emboitement. We must have a toast... shall we toast the Doctor? K9: Toasting the Doctor is against my primary programming, and in any case, he is out of range of my blaster. Romana: Do you miss the Doctor, K9? K9: Emotionless automata never miss. Furthermore, Mistress, your comparative lack of recklessness places less strain on my circuitry. Romana: Yes, those long, mellow Tardis evenings always did get interrupted by some ghastly calamity. FX: At this point, an alarm bell starts ringing and a red light on the console starts flashing. Romana: K9, what is it? K9: An intraspatial telegram, Mistress, with emergency clearance. Romana: Let's see it, then - put it on the scanner. FX: The following message appears on the screen, character by character: EMERGENCY ROMANA HELOX INVADED BY OMARIANS STOP HELP REQUIRED AT ONCE STOP TIME SHORT STOP REMEMBER NOSTOS STOP PYGMALION Romana: That's very odd, don't you think, K9? I don't know anyone called Pygmalion, although this message is addressed to me in person. And I've certainly never been to Nostos... K9: Nostos is an uninhabited planet in the Helox Delta system, Mistress. Romana: Uninhabited? Anyway, set course for Helox - I want to find out what all this is about. K9: I would advise caution, Mistress. The Omarians are hostile. Romana: You don't expect me to be put off by a few nasty Omarians, do you? K9: Yes, Mistress. 2 We are in something akin to an airport control tower, within the Omarian military base in the capital of Helox. It is nighttime. There are two uniformed low-ranking officers sitting at a console marked 'Time Scanner', which has a sort of radar screen thing showing no trace, and lots of other buttons and knobs. Officer1: I don't know why we didn't just blast this planet - miserable little place, nothing ever happens. Officer2: Top brass wanted this Time Scanner thing set up as soon as possible, didn't they? Here was the nearest practical planet. Officer1: So we get to sit here, just on the off chance someone happens to nip past in a Time Machine and then this heap of junk is supposed to hijack it. I'll believe it when I see it. Officer2: Well, the cloak and dagger boys who nicked it seem to think it'll work. Officer1: I don't know. I get the feeling there's more to it than us sitting on our backsides, waiting for a cure for baldness. Officer2: Like what? Officer1: Like your precious cloak and dagger boys are up to something, and this Time Scanner business is just to keep us soldiers occupied. Officer2: So, what's on this hidden agenda of yours, then? Officer1: Well I don't know, do I? And anyway, she's not called Agenda. 3 Outside the base. The camera is following the black-trousered legs of a man stealthily approaching the entrance. There is a pivoting barrier blocking the entrance, manned by the occupants of a small guard cabin at the far end as we see it. A high-sided truck pulls up. The barrier is opened, and the shadowy man in black slips through on the far side of the truck from the cabin. 4 Time Scanner Control - a blip appears on the radar-like thing, and the system starts beeping. Officer1: Stone me - we've got something - you'd better inform the commander. Officer2 (into a phone): Commander... Time Scanner Control here... we have a craft on screen, Sir... righto, Sir, Security Zone A (to Officer 1): Right then, let's land this thing, whatever it is. 5 At the base of the tower (POV man in black), there is a guard who first appears surprised, then hostile, then staring in terror, then in a trance. We see the man open the door and enter the control tower - we still cannot identify him. 6 Romana's Tardis console room - Romana is still on the chaise longue - her glass is empty on the floor. K9 is plugged into the console. Romana: How long until Helox, K9? K9: Approximately 2 minutes and 14.28571 seconds, Mistress. FX: The lights dim momentarily and everything is shaken. Romana: What's happening, K9? K9: We appear to have encountered some remote controlling force, Mistress - I am no longer able to direct the Tardis. Romana: What? But the Omarians haven't got that kind of technology. Remote control of a Tardis is possible, but the technique is one of Gallifrey's most closely guarded secrets. Can you jam the signal? K9: The signal is being rapidly modulated, Mistress, it will take some time to establish the pattern. Romana: Perhaps you were right, K9 - it seems that Helox is something of a Tardis trap. 7 Security Zone A - we see an armed reception observing the Tardis (shaped like a sentry box) beginning to materialise. 8 Time Scanner Control Officer2: Ten seconds to landing... five...four... We see (from his point of view) the man in black burst through the door of this control room, draw a squat black weapon and fire it at the two officers. There is a blinding flash. After this we see (still his POV) the console, where he presses a button marked 'ABORT' as the countdown reaches 1. We do not see the corpses. Man in black: I'm sorry, gentlemen, but some things are hard to give up. 9 Romana's Tardis Romana: Hurry up, K9, we're beginning to materialise. K9: I have the pattern, Mistress - the Tardis is free. Romana: Land nearby, somewhere quiet... is everything alright, K9? K9: Mistress, the control signal has stopped. It ceased at precisely the moment I started the jamming signal. Romana: Can you tell which freed the Tardis? K9: Insufficient data, Mistress. 10 Security Zone A - the Tardis does not complete materialisation. Commander: What's happened? Lieutenant, get me Time Scanner Control at once - bunch of incompetent fools. Lieutenant: Yes, Sir... He takes a phone and attempts to contact the dead officers. There is no response at first, and then... Lieutenant: ... What?.. Dead?.. That's appalling .. (to the Commander): It's Security, Sir. The two officers in Time Scanner Control have just been found murdered, Sir. Commander: Murdered? That's all I need. Has Intelligence Officer Slyke been informed yet? Lieutenant: I don't believe so, Sir. Commander: Well, we'd better get cracking, hadn't we? Put the guards on alert - the culprit is probably still in this base. And let's take a look at the bodies... Lieutenant: From the sounds of things, Sir, there isn't much to go on. 11 Outside the base - we see the legs of the man in black as he walks away from the gate - he's escaped in time. He chuckles. 12 Romana's Tardis. Romana is dressed in slightly more practical clothes. The scanner shows a yard full of old junk, faintly reminiscent of Totter's Yard (no significance). Romana: OK K9, usual drill - you stay here - I'll go and get picked up, find out what's going on, and then, when the going gets rough, I'll give you the whistle and you can rescue me. K9: Yes, Mistress. Good luck. Romana: Thank you, K9, but I hope that won't be necessary. She leaves. We see her on the scanner slipping out of the yard and out of view. 13 A not-especially-salubrious street with various dodgy-looking terraced houses converted into shops, one of which is called Pygmalion Robotics. The front is all shut up. There is a dark, narrow alley down the side of this shop. We see the man in black going down this alley, but he stops and turns when he hears a distant voice saying 'Halt'. Having established that he is not the addressee of this order, he creeps back to the corner of the shop to see what is going on. Romana is being arrested by a group of soldiers. Soldier: What're you doing out and about, Miss? Or have you forgotten about the curfew? Romana: I didn't know there was a curfew. It's my first night in the city. Soldier: I'll bet... (to the others): Put her in the van with the rest of them. She is bundled into the back of a van, which then drives off. We see the man in black (from behind) shake his head, laughing his ho ho ho laugh, and then turn back down the alley towards us, but it's too dark for us to see his face clearly. 14 We see the room in which the curfew-breakers are being interrogated. One by one, they take a lie detector test (which operates by an electrode attached to the forehead and looks very crude). Romana is next to be interrogated and is standing under guard. Quillom (a male Heloxian) is the current victim. Romana is finding it difficult to keep a straight face. The interrogator, Slyke, is in plain clothes, and is relaxed in the way that only someone in a position of power can be. Slyke: What is your name? Quillom: My name is Quillom. Guard: Quillom, Sir. Slyke (to the guard): No, his name is Quillom. (to Quillom): Sorry, Mr Quillom, do tell us what you were doing out after curfew - I'm sure it was most interesting. Quillom: Well, it's a bit stupid, really. Slyke: That's alright, we won't tell anybody. Do go on. Quillom: I came off my shift at about seventeen - I work in the jam factory, checking that the lids are screwed on properly - went down the local for a while, and then I started walking home through the park. Nice hot day like today and a few drinks in me, I stopped for a rest on a park bench, watch the world go by. Well, next thing I knew I woke up and it was dark. I felt very silly, but there wasn't much else I could do but try to walk home. Slyke: Oh, don't worry, Mr Quillom, you'll have a roof over your head tonight. Now tell me, you don't, by any chance, know anything about nasty men with guns, or spies, or that grubby line of business? Eh? Quillom: What me? I couldn't get mixed up in that sort of thing - I don't like guns. Slyke: Neither do I, Mr Quillom, neither do I. (to the guard): Lock him up with the others - let's have the next one. Quillom is led away. Romana is attached to the lie detector. Slyke: Now then, I don't believe I've had the pleasure. Romana: Romana, Sir. Slyke: Your name is not important. I would, however, be interested to hear of your nocturnal intentions. Romana: I was hoping to find somewhere to stay. I've only just arrived in the city. Slyke: Well, yes, the city is a dangerous place at night - lots of soldiers about. I'm sure we can put you up. I mean, that's what we're here for. The Omarian Hostel for Waifs and Strays who Come to the City from... where was it you came from? Romana: I came in from the country. Slyke: Of course you did. And what persuaded you to move. The bright lights? The night life? Romana: I had to leave. They said... they said I was bad. Slyke: So, bad girl, you haven't met any bad men on your travels, eh? No terrorists? No racketeers? No pimps? Romana: The only people I've met are the soldiers. Slyke: I know about them. Dear, oh dear. (to the guard): Lock her up with the rest of the useless rabble, for the time being. Is that the lot? Thank God. 15 We see the cell in which the curfew-breakers are being held. There is a guard visible through the bars in the corridor outside with his back against the wall opposite the door. There are lots of prisoners between the door and front of shot, where Romana is buttonholing Quillom. Romana: Quillom, you may have fooled that clumsy lie detector and that stupid little man, but you didn't fool me with that nonsense about falling asleep in the park. Now tell me, what's going on. Quillom: What are you talking about? I was telling the truth. I mean, you saw the machine. Romana: That machine couldn't detect a loose cap in a jam factory. It didn't spot you, and it didn't spot me; so level with me - what's happening on this planet? Quillom: I have nothing to say to you. Romana (producing dog whistle): Why do you have to be so paranoid? I can get us out of here. Quillom: With that? Romana: It summons my dog. Now tell me, who's this Pygmalion? Quillom: Well, if you put it that way, Pygmalion is the man who taught me to lie to that machine. Romana: And he runs the Resistance, right? Quillom: Right. Nobody really knows him. He seems to know what he's doing, though. Romana: I wish I knew what he was doing. How do I get to meet him? Quillom: He has a robotics shop downtown, didn't you see it? You were picked up practically outside it. Romana: Thanks, Quillom. I shall see what he has to tell me. Now, let's wake K9. Romana blows the whistle. 16 Romana's Tardis. K9 reactivates. K9: Coming, Mistress. K9 opens the doors and trundles out, across the yard and round the corner. 17 The cell. Quillom: So who are you, and where did you hear of Pygmalion? Romana: I'm a space-traveller. I got a message from him asking for help. More importantly, what are the Omarians doing here? Quillom: I wish I knew. Most of them seem to wish they knew, too. Usually they just destroy planets that aren't of material or strategic use. Romana: And they don't need any more jam? Quillom: No, they don't. But I don't see how holding Helox puts them at any advantage in their war with the Gardenians. We're not exactly in the busiest constellation in the Galaxy. Romana: Maybe they're looking for something. Quillom: Can't think what. Romana: Well, if they are looking for something, let's hope we get to it first. 18 The street outside Pygmalion Robotics. K9 has encountered a patrol of soldiers. They are curious at first... Soldier1: What's that? Soldier2: Where? Soldier1: There. Soldier2: Oh, that. Looks like a sort of robot dog to me. Soldier1: It seems to know where it's going. Soldier2: Let's stick it in the van. I daresay the tech-men back at base will be interested. The soldiers move to block K9's passage. One of them moves round behind him. K9: Do not impede my passage. The soldiers stay put. K9 stuns the ones in front of him - the few shots they do get out go wide. The soldier behind him is just passing the mouth of the alley and is about to shoot K9 when he is felled by a rabbit punch from behind. It's the man in black. He moves in front of K9, and we see up to his middle, looking from behind K9. Man in black: Now, K9, that wasn't very clever, was it? You wouldn't have been much good to Romana in pieces. K9: I must find the Mistress. Man in black: In trouble is she? Takes after the Doctor, I see. I never knew the Doctor when he wasn't in trouble. K9: Please do not interfere. I must find the Mistress. Man in black: Indeed you must, but you will need my help, if you don't want to end up as scrap metal. K9: Very well, you may accompany me. First, tell me who you are. Man in black: Don't you remember me, K9? (he kneels and tickles K9, chuckling): I'm Pygmalion. I'm your friend... (more sternly): Your Master. On to Episode 2
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